Posts Tagged ‘morons’

Well, this will be quick. It’s past midnight and I have to catch a ferry in the morning. This will tie up a few loose ends I’ve been meaning to say something about in the past couple of weeks.

First, the election.

I’ve been bombarded with campaign literature for the last couple of weeks. All for some bizarre reason, from the Scottish Labour party. Included was a personal missive from the indefinably-odd looking Iain Gray urging me to help keep the eeeeeevil Tories at bay (if I read it correctly). Oh and stop the Nats from doing something they’ve quietly dropped.

Anyway, the whole election thing is incredibly tedious – despite the efforts of two Facebook friends, one on either side of the SNP/Labour divide, to breathlessly tell us all how incredibly exciting it all is. I have been very interested in politics since I was sixteen, when I was some sort of ill-informed Marxist type, to where I am now, a free-market minarchist (still pretty ill-informed), but the whole Scottish thing really does fill me with a deep melancholy and boredom. Mainly I think it stems from a belief that, until we are not ruled from Brussels, our petty national politics are an irrelevance, and none of the four candidates up here will lift a finger to campaign for us to get out of the EU.

The regional list thing  seems to be a touch pointless too, a strange way for nobodies and losers to get a seat and make a noise in Holyrood. Losers here meaning both not-winners and sad political beings with no future or past. And a token Tory

Lastly we will be given a chance to vote on a brand spanking new shiny system of vote-counting. A choice between FPTP and AV. Hmmm. To paraphrase, “the most exciting chance to change our system of democracy and to re-connect with the voters”. Allegedly. I cannot really be bothered to go into my reasons for wanting to stick with FPTP, other than to say that I think it is the least bad system.

I’m just waiting for the resurrection of old excuses when the inevitable “No” is returned. Top of the list, I suspect, will be that it was too confusing for the electorate to have the vote the same day as the Scottish Parliamentary elections and English council votes. I’m not sure what advantage was gained by the campaign teams making this argument to begin with. Calling the electorate morons never seemed too smart to me. But what do I know.

To cap the whole sorry saga which – rather pathetically – has taken up a large part of my (obviously extremely valuable) thinking time in the last couple of months I will be away on the 5th anyway. When I discovered that I would be back at sea on the date, the postal vote deadline had passed. A family member asked if I wanted to vote by proxy, but the problem I had with this was that the only person I could trust to be my proxy and not to vote for someone I didn’t want, refused to draw big comedy willies all over the ballots. Because yes, dear reader*, I had come to the conclusion that I was going to spoil at least two, if not all three ballots this time.

Mean new colour scheme

The office

Secondly, work. I’m still running a wee taxi company up in Stornoway, which provides a handy excuse for someone who keeps asking me why I don’t write more (hello again, reader). It keeps me incredibly busy but I still want to get back to sea as much as possible. Back at the end of March I was contacted by the company I worked for at the end of last summer for a while saying that there might be a position open this summer, and would I like it if there was a place. Yes. Yes, I would. So I have to join a Coastguard tug in Ullapool on Wednesday morning. As it’s now 1.30 on Wednesday morning, I feel that I will be rather sleepy when I join after an early morning ferry trip. Unfortunately, I’ll only be on board for a month, but I enjoyed the trip I did last year, so I’m looking forward to it.

There’s tons of stuff I’ve been wanting to talk about recently. From the Royal Wedding and how one can support the monarchy and simultaneously be bored half to death by wedding build-up coverage; Obama feeding the trolls and releasing his birth certificate and breeding a new species of swivel-eyed conspiraloon; the rather odd circumstances surrounding the murder of OBL, and the FB  friend, who wrote – apparently without a trace of irony – “Vengance is mine, I will repay, sayeth the Lord”; latest erosions of civil liberties and intrusion of the state; and many other riveting subjects. However, I have to be up in four and a half hours, so I’ll leave these exciting topics to another time.

Also I suspect I may get some comment on this post for a change, but bear with me. I will endeavour to reply to anything asap, but I’ll be away from decent interweb connection for probably a month.

*Yeh, thank you, whoever you are.


I am really and truly sick of election coverage. Every time I turn on the radio, or open my feed panel in firefox, I’m bombarded with will he/won’t he nonsense, uselessly repetitive analysis and varyingly degrees of swearyness in blog entries.

I really don’t post as much as I should/would like to on this blog. I seem to only post excuses for not posting. Anyway, one of the reasons is that everything that catches my attention is posted to my facebook page.

Earlier today I was linking to this fabulous image:

and I was impressed to see that the anti-spam word-verification thingumyjig had worked out exactly why we are all sick of Nick Clegg:

I'm not only sick of wangling, I'm sick that the little turd who's  given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a say in politics is  apparently holding out for more. You are a nonentity.

quick and dirty edit.

Well now,  our Dear Leader made a bit of a mistake yesterday in the affair now (inevitably) known as “Bigotgate”.  When I say mistake, he inserted his foot a considerable way down his oesophagus. Obviously, this subject is a goldmine and has been comprehensively covered by better and more prolific bloggers than myself.

One aspect of the story struck me today as I was on my last delivery of the day. I was listening to Jeremy Vine’s show, and before turning off in disgust I heard a caller, in support of the Unelected one, say that it was a private conversation, and it was therefore unethical of Sky to broadcast it. I’ve noticed John Prescott and the Dark Lord Mandelson have jumped on the same meme and are sticking by it.

Now, the person they are defending here is the leader of the party who have plans to record every phone call, every email, every text and monitor everyone’s internet usage.

They have cameras that track your car’s movement, cameras to record your every movement, military-grade spy planes checking you don’t give your child salt, they want to follow cars from satellites, they want to put microchips in your bin to ensure a baked bean doesn’t get in with the metal recycling, they want to stop us from having any contact with kids, they want to force us to invest in spurious “green” technologies, they want us to uncomplainingly fork out our hard-earned cash to fund them and their cronies in the Unions, they want to spend OUR money like it was going out of fashion.

And they claim that it is unfair to report the “sinner’s” words.

Calling A Cab

Posted: 22-March-2010 in Speculation
Tags: ,

Byers is obviously a numptie, but so far, I haven’t seen anyone else make the connection: Hoon and Hewitt cack-handedly attempted a coup a couple of months ago. Now they’ve both been suspended (along with afore-mentioned numptie).

Far be it from me to jump to any cynical conclusions…

In my current job I drive around in an an ancient van for the first half of the day. I have a functioning radio, so I’ve got something on in the background all the time. But as I have to get in and out constantly, I don’t want to have my phone or MP3 player broadcasting the entire time because that’s a waste of battery. This would be fine if I was anywhere, really, other than Lewis. Being up here means that I’m very, very limited in what radio station I can listen to. I’ve got Isles FM (aka The World’s Worst Radio Station), Radio Nan Gàidheal (I don’t understand Gaelic), Radio Scotland (just… naw), Radio 4 (daytime stuff is dire), Radio 3 (I can’t afford to crash because I’ve fallen asleep),  Radio 1 (I’m not constantly popping ecstasy, so it doesn’t appeal) and finally Radio 2 which is a decent compromise between inoffensive pop and slightly older stuff. It’s not perfect, but it will do.

The only blight on the 5 hours or so that I’m driving up to lunchtime, is the incomparable nincompoop that is Jeremy Vine. Terry Wogan and Ken Bruce beforehand are like having a bath in warm treacle. Then the lunchtime discussion comes on and it I want to crash  into the nearest wall. Every day, as soon as he comes on, I start changing channels to see if I can find anything, anywhere, worth listening to, and, every day when I get back to the show – having failed – some moron somewhere is making a point that is just mind-bogglingly stupid. Every day I think, I’ll remember that and write something about it when I get home for lunch, and every day I come home and look at pictures of kittens.

However, this morning I got up early enough to spend a little time on the laptop before work, and caught sight of the big apologies story going round, and later heard the first snatch of the debate or phone-in discussion on the radio, before, unfortunately, changing to radio one. My mind is still bleeding. Anyway, Kevin Rudd and Gordon Brown are apologising for the sins of the past. Not, in either case for their own sins or even their respective governments’ sins. They are apologising for previous government’s mistakes. It is therefore entirely futile, empty and meaningless. You cannot apologise for a mistake someone else made in the past. You can, however, express your sorrow and sympathy. In fact, many of the people affected and shipped off to Australia are still living and do deserve our sympathy for what was, undeniably, horrible treatment. I believe these people should gain some sort of compensation for their treatment, and should have all possible help in contacting any remaining relatives over here.

But, I say again: we cannot apologise. Brown – if indeed the man is capable of emotion – can say he is saddened and sorry that this happened, but as Longrider said in the first (but by no means only post) I read today:

This practise ended forty years ago. How old was Gordon Brown then? Was he in government? The answers being that he was a teenager when this finished and he was not in government. Therefore, he has no right to apologise and neither has Kevin Rudd as neither of them was involved in the offence. An apology, to mean anything at all, must be proffered by the person or people who caused the original harm. You cannot apologise by proxy. To do so is empty gesturing.

In the Telegraph, Ed “Dumpling-faced Gurning Moron” Balls says of Brown’s planned apology, that

the government was talking to the victims’ organisation to work out how to frame the apology

The whole thing is getting emptier and emptier as the whole saga unfolds. If, for example I stole someone’s car and then asked the owner to sit down with me and help me write out a sorry note to explain how sorry I was that I had stolen his car, I have no doubt he would think it a rather empty gesture. But it’s even hollower that. In a comparable hypothetical situation, my cousin stole someone’s car and then several years later, when my (hypothetical – don’t send any sympathy, all my cousins are fine) cousin had died, then I went and asked the owner to sit down and help me to write a note of apology on behalf of someone from whom no recompense is possibly forthcoming. That’s how useless this apology is.

Also, to ring true, an apology should be, at least in part, spontaneous. Not mumbled through in a monotone by a humourless, expressionless Cyclops.

Oh, and as a final aside, it turns out the Prime Minister thinks that

“the time is now right” for the UK government to apologise for the “misguided policies” of previous governments

nothing to do with wanting to look good just before a general election then? Of course not, that’s just me being cynical.

And no mention of apologising, even in the most hollow, empty way for the “misguided policies” of the current government, for the misguided handling of… well… nigh-on everything.

muzzle flash

A friend’s link on facebook brought me to this story earlier today. An ex-soldier is facing prison for five years for being a good, upstanding member of the community. The story, for those who can’t be bothered following the link is that some guy found a sawn-off shotgun, with ammo, in his garden, phoned the police and handed it in. Where he was arrested for having an gun. And taken to court. And found guilty. And now faces five years for possession. Did I mention the minimum sentence? Five years. That is FIVE YEARS. That’s two years more than you get for raping a toddler. That’s four and a half years more than you get for dumping a body and leaving a guy for dead.

Following the discussion thread on OH’s blog on the topic I came across this gem, where almost the exact opposite happened, 15 miles away in South London. Again, the story is mind-bogglingly stupid – another guy finds a loaded revolver and cash in a bag, phones the police and is told to carry it two miles to the station. I’m really surprised Mr. Leary wasn’t arrested when he took the gun to the police.

I was going to insert a rant here about how stupid it is not to have legal guns in society, but it all just seems like an exercise in banging my head against a brick wall.

Nazi Union Jack

I’m racking my brains to think of a good reason for the Government and the big parties to be turning into screaming loons at the faintest whiff of debate with the BNP. Why are they so opposed to being on the same platform as them?  Are they really that frightened of their own abilities that they won’t go head to head with any of them? They continually claim that the BNP policies are indefensible and clearly stupid. Why not let the public see the BNP on TV engaging in debate – they won’t have a leg to stand on if your claims are correct. Why has Peter Hain tried to declare their appearance on QT illegal? That move is particularly strange because, if there is a case for banning the BNP from appearing on TV until their currently illegal rules are changed,  then there is most definitely a case for members of all parties to be banned from engaging in any lawmaking, until all amongst their ranks who broke the law, thieved, troughed, had the times of their lives and generally defrauded taxpayers are fired, forced to repay every single last penny, a hefty fine on top and imprisoned. Not only that, QT is hardly the sort of viewing material that the average person watches. It’s the Harriet Harpyman “Punternet” thing all over again. If they had quietly allowed Nick Griffin onto the show and not drawn attention to it, this week’s Question Time wouldn’t be heading for inevitable supernova-esque viewer numbers.

While listening to the teatime news this evening I had what can only be described as a brainwave.

The big parties want the BNP to do well. They want them to gain seats. They want them to have a voice in Parliament. They want them to be seen in the House of Commons, shouting away and making “extreme” statements. Because then every bit of creeping infringement, every interfering proposal, every nasty, ill-thought-out, fascist, authoritarian piece of illiberal legislation thought up by the next Government can be buried in an orchestrated media/twatter scream of “ULTRA RIGHT WING RACIST JACKBOOTED NAZI… HOMOPHOBIC… HITLER… NAZI… RIGHT WING… erm… RACIST… THINK OF THE CHILDREN” the next time the inevitable pillock representing the BNP says anything.

Now I’m off to make me a foil hat.